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Spurs punished for negativity, Dyche’s gameplan downs Liverpool and Wharton’s quality shines through again

• Top scorers: check the latest race for the golden boot

Amid Liverpool’s deepening crisis and the growing scrutiny on Arne Slot, it is only right that Nottingham Forest’s role in it is given some attention and acclaim. Back-to-back league wins at Anfield for the first time since 1963 deserves recognition, as does the willingness of Forest’s players to embrace the gameplan of the third different managerial voice they have heard this season. Sean Dyche’s instructions were implemented to perfection as Liverpool disintegrated. “We changed the tactical side today,” said Forest’s recently appointed manager. “I told the players: ‘We’re not passing it, we are going long, because Liverpool were going to press the life out of you’ – which is exactly what they did at the start. We dealt with that quite well and we mixed it tactically, which is credit to the players.” Forest’s tactics may have been straight out of the Dyche playbook but they were also encouraged, inadvertently, by Slot, who has regularly told opponents how to play his Liverpool team this season. He has meanwhile not found any solutions. Andy Hunter

Match report: Liverpool 0-3 Nottingham Forest

Match report: Newcastle 2-1 Manchester City

Match report: Arsenal 4-1 Tottenham

Barney Ronay: Eze finds his own plane just above ground level

Match report: Leeds 1-2 Aston Villa

Match report: Fulham 1-0 Sunderland

• Arsenal v Chelsea was watched by only 71,000 viewers

• Saturday noon kick-off believed to be a factor in drop-off

The Women’s Super League is concerned about the broadcast slots allocated by its main rights partner, Sky Sports, this season after only 71,000 people watched televised coverage of the flagship fixture between Arsenal and Chelsea this month.

The average audience on Sky Sports Main Event was 55,900 – lower than the 57,000 attendance at the Emirates Stadium – with a further 15,100 viewers tuning in on Sky Sports Premier League. The corresponding fixture last season attracted an audience of 732,000 because it was free-to-air on the BBC and took place during the men’s international break.

• Everton manager says United needed rebuild in 2013

• Moyes goes to Old Trafford with United on good run

David Moyes has said he believed Manchester United needed a long-term rebuild when he succeeded Sir Alex Ferguson in 2013 and the subsequent upheaval at Old Trafford represents a departure from the club’s values.

Speaking before Monday’s return to Old Trafford with Everton, Moyes admitted his 11-month spell as United manager “didn’t work for different reasons” but insisted it has been consigned firmly to the past. However, despite inheriting a title-winning squad from Ferguson, Moyes said United’s wait for a 21st league title has come as no great surprise.

The England forward has made a decent start to his Emirates career but this performance was stick-it-on-a-mural stuff

Has there ever been a softer, more delicate act of derby day brutality than this, a hat-trick in a 4-1 win where every goal must have felt like being bludgeoned to death with a feather‑light Parisian macaron?

Eberechi Eze’s third goal, the killer, the legend-maker, was the funniest, and also the most telling. It was made by a thrust down the left, and by Leandro Trossard’s smart pass. But it was made as an aesthetic by Destiny Udogie falling over, not because of any real act of trickery, but because Eze stopped suddenly, out there in the middle of all that heat and light, taking the ball on the edge of the Spurs box and simply ceasing to move, like a squirrel on a branch.

• Luis Suárez benched for Matteo Silvetti, who scored twice

• Union’s Supporters’ Shield-winning season ends

Tadeo Allende scored a second-half brace, Lionel Messi scored and picked up three assists and Inter Miami pulled away to a 4-0 victory over FC Cincinnati in Sunday’s MLS Eastern Conference semi-final.

Mateo Silvetti, 19, also had a goal and an assist for No 3 seed Miami, who continue their deepest MLS playoff run in club history by advancing to their first East final. Miami will play NYC FC at home after they beat the Philadelphia Union 1-0 later on Sunday.

• Roma claim 3-1 away victory to move top of Serie A

• Milan take derby honours after Maignan penalty save

Real Madrid were held to an entertaining 2-2 draw at Elche on Sunday after a pulsating second half in which the visitors came from behind twice with Jude Bellingham’s late goal rescuing a point.

The result extended Real’s winless run to three matches in all competitions, but they reclaimed top spot in La Liga, one point ahead of Barcelona.

Five defeats in six and the anxiety is beginning to show for Leeds. For the second game in a row they took an early lead through Lukas Nmecha but ended up with nothing, Morgan Rogers producing a pair of remarkable finishes to lift Aston Villa into the Champions League qualification slots. Leeds remain in the relegation zone.

“Performance-wise we’ve turned back to what we want to be,” said Daniel Farke. “We should’ve taken some points from this game. We are not back to our best. We can still improve, but at the end we are just disappointed we did not get any points.” Given the way Leeds faded in the second half and their lack of guile throughout, that was perhaps an overly sanguine reading.

• Captain visibly angry after defeat to Nottingham Forest

• Van Dijk accuses squad of letting down Arne Slot

Virgil van Dijk has delivered a scathing assessment of Liverpool’s woeful title defence, the club captain admitting the champions are in a mess and letting down Arne Slot while questioning whether every player is shouldering responsibility for the team’s slump.

Van Dijk could not contain his anger after Saturday’s 3-0 home defeat by Nottingham Forest that left Liverpool in the bottom half of the table with a negative goal difference. Tom Werner, the club’s American chair, was at Anfield to witness Liverpool’s sixth defeat in seven Premier League games, their eighth loss in 11 matches in all competitions, and a performance that unravelled against a Forest side that started the day in the relegation zone.

One derby goal tends to be enough for a place in Steel City folklore, so Tyrese Campbell is more than assured of his entry to the pantheon after scoring twice in Sheffield United’s 3-0 win at Hillsborough, 12 months on from his similar match-winning effort in the fixture at Bramall Lane.

Chris Wilder’s side remain in the Championship bottom three but this was a bright spot in what has otherwise been a bleak campaign. Tom Cannon’s stoppage-time third gave the scoreline the sheen the Blades’ performance probably warranted, and meant the result was the first three-goal away victory in the 131-year league history between these teams.

More than two years of redevelopment at the storied ground later, feelings of relief and comfort greeted Barça’s return to time-honoured turf

There was no sign of Laszlo Kubala or Johan Cruyff, their statues still safely packed in storage, and Lionel Messi had sneaked in alone under cover of darkness a fortnight before but FC Barcelona’s current players were finally back at the Camp Nou as 45,157 fans and a handful of men in high-vis jackets and hard hats watched them return home 909 days later. It was like old times.

Athletic Club, ideal guests, had not won here in 30 matches and after two years away they didn’t win this time either, the last of four goals conceded soon followed by fireworks on an afternoon of reunion.

New manager can’t arrest slide in 4-1 defeat at Birmingham which leaves Canaries five points adrift of safety

When the ball came to Kenny McLean near the halfway line, few imagined what would unfold next, even with the goalkeeper caught in two minds and no-man’s land. This time however, in stark contrast to Tuesday’s heroics at Hampden Park, the self-proclaimed Mayor of Norwich was dispossessed by a hungry opponent and the home team’s fourth goal confirmed victory.

McLean may have returned to Norfolk slightly the worse for wear, understandably, after scoring against Denmark from the centre circle to clinch Scotland’s place in the World Cup finals. But while his concession of possession to Demarai Gray on Saturday, leading to the perfect through ball for Jay Stansfield to round off this 4-1 win for Birmingham, epitomised Norwich’s back-foot performance at St Andrew’s, he is far from the main culprit of their extended plight near the foot of the Championship.

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• Topi Keskinen scores Aberdeen winner; Hearts wasteful

• Callum McGregor hits Celtic’s late winner at St Mirren

Callum McGregor scored a late winner as Celtic cut the gap on the Scottish Premiership leaders, Hearts, to four points with a 1-0 win at St Mirren on Saturday, a lead that was confirmed when the Edinburgh side lost 1-0 at Aberdeen on Sunday.

At Pittodrie, Topi Keskinen’s strike just before half-time enabled improving Aberdeen to stun Hearts. Keskinen benefited from a significant ricochet before curling home a sweet shot.

Newcastle’s recent slide left them 15th in the Premier League at kick-off but, by the end of an always absorbing, sometimes almost anarchic, evening they had ascended to Cloud Nine.

It is very hard to argue that Eddie Howe is not an elite coach – what price he ends up eventually being poached by Liverpool as Arne Slot’s successor? – but, until this watershed win, his record against Pep Guardiola was pretty dismal. In 16 previous Premier League matches against Guardiola’s Manchester City, with Bournemouth and Newcastle, Howe had lost 14 and drawn two. All that changed as, with Harvey Barnes scoring twice, his players dealt a potentially debilitating blow to City’s title hopes. Guardiola’s side now sit third, four points behind Arsenal and one in arrears of Chelsea.

It was in the 69th minute when Yeremy Pino wheeled away after doubling Crystal Palace’s lead, his delicious shot from the edge of the area crashing in off the underside of the crossbar. In the away technical area, Oliver Glasner was also on the move, the Palace manager briefly dancing on ice as he almost lost his footing. “Almost,” he said, grinning, “but fortunately I am Austrian, I am a really good skier so I am used to being on slippery surfaces.”

By the end, the delirious away support were asking their goalkeeper Dean Henderson for song suggestions after the substitute Eddie Nketiah went close to adding a third goal. For Wolves and Rob Edwards, this his first game in permanent charge, there was only more pain. Pino scored six minutes after Daniel Muñoz opened the scoring to earn a win that propels Palace into fourth. Wolves remain on two points and rooted to the bottom of the table after a dozen matches; they are the only winless team in the top seven tiers of English football and hurtling towards the Championship.

In a week when a domestic accident threatened Chelsea’s charge, they had no such problems at Burnley. Without the injured Cole Palmer, who fractured a toe after colliding with a door at home, they avoided a slip here, escaping without even a fissure.

There was the occasional early threat of a bloody nose, but even not at full speed, Chelsea were able to halt Burnley’s industry. Pedro Neto and Enzo Fernández were the match-winners on a day Chelsea did not make the most of dominating, but they have moved to three points off top spot with four wins in a row without conceding. A timely boost going into a big week with Barcelona and Arsenal to play.

Bart Verbruggen was the hero for Brighton after his stoppage-time penalty save from Igor Thiago earned a dramatic victory over Brentford. Brighton had looked like tasting defeat after Thiago’s ice-cool first-half spot-kick had the visitors in front.

Danny Welbeck’s 71st-minute leveller sparked a grandstand finish for Brighton and substitute Jack Hinshelwood completed the turnaround with six minutes left.

A pension-pot World Cup looms and with Trump in the White House and a crown prince at his back, it is now a safe space

It was hard to choose one favourite photo from football’s double-header at the White House this week. In part this is because the pictures from Donald Trump’s state dinner with Mohammed bin Salman and his in-house hype men Cristiano Ronaldo and Gianni Infantino were everywhere, recycled feverishly across the internet, dusted with their own drool-stained commentary by the wider Ronaldo-verse.

Mainly there were just so many jaw-droppers. Perhaps you liked the one of Trump and Ronaldo strolling the halls of power, Ronaldo dressed all in black and laughing uproariously, like a really happy ninja. Or the one of Ronaldo and Georgina Rodríguez standing either side of a weirdly beaming Trump at his desk, holding up some kind of large heraldic key as though they’ve just been presented with their own wind-up wooden sex-grandad.

A number of big-money signings, promising talents and club legends are struggling to make their mark

By WhoScored

A £50m signing from Manchester City, Raheem Sterling was once a declaration of ambition by Chelsea but he is now lost in the £1.4bn of talent that has arrived since. It is easy to forget that Sterling was the first of 50 signings under the club’s owners.

Football is truly a family affair for Hednesford Town’s Hazzana Parnell and her fellow forward Remaya Osbourne

“As a mother you try to give your child the best you can,” says the Hednesford Town forward Hazzana Parnell before the tier-five side’s Women’s FA Cup second-round match against third-tier Sporting Khalsa on Sunday. “The ball will be on the line and I’ll lay it back for her, as if saying: ‘Go on, you have it.’”

This isn’t like letting your kid beat you at Uno, or half-hearted efforts to save the ball when standing in goal at the local park. This is a mother, Parnell, 38, and her daughter, 16-year-old Remaya Osbourne, playing on the same team in the FA Cup, fulfilling a dream many footballers probably have when they hold their newborn in their arms, and that so few have achieved, in men’s and women’s football.

Record scorer for Norway’s age-group sides discusses his World Cup hope, being frozen out at 15 and fake tickets heartbreak at Anfield

Liverpool against Aston Villa on 18 January 2014. It was impossible to measure the excitement in a seven-year-old from Norway making his first pilgrimage to Anfield. Inside was the promise of watching his favourite player, Daniel Sturridge, and the rest of a freewheeling side throwing everything at a title push. But as Sindre Walle Egeli and his family reached the turnstiles, the cruelest of realities dawned.

“It’s not a good memory,” Walle Egeli says. “We showed up, ready to go, and it turned out we’d got fake tickets. I don’t know what happened, maybe my parents bought from some shady people. It was heartbreaking.”

When you work in the game it is easy to get cynical but this week I’ve been consuming all the #limbs I can find

For the second time in a week, I’m welling up. This time in a cafe on Northcote High Street in Melbourne at 9am. I punched the air when Kieran Tierney curled that one in. But Kenny McLean. From the halfway line. As the ball sails over Kasper Schmeichel my hands involuntarily shoot to the sky. What a moment. The commentary is amazing. Before long I’m watching it on a loop. The unwritten rule of not talking over each other goes out of the window. In fact it’s better. You want the comms to feel like you feel.

On BBC Scotland, Liam McLeod, Steven Thompson and James McFadden absolutely nail it. McLeod: “They’ve given it away.” Thompson: “SHOOT, SHOOT.” McLeod: “He’s gonna shoot.” (McFadden is grinning wildly.) Thompson: “OH HE’S DONE HIM, HE’S DONE HIM, HE’S DONE HIM.” McLeod: “HAS THAT GONE IN? OOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOO THAT’S UNBELIEVABLE …” The fixed camera set on Thompson and McFadden is wondrous. Two grown men jumping up and down in unison like 10-year-old boys. They are just so happy.

The Arsenal and England forward is backing new global campaign because talent and teamwork should decide the game – not the climate

I’ll never forget stepping out on to the pitch in Switzerland for the Euro 2025 tournament. The air felt heavy – not with pressure or expectation, but with heat. It was more than 30C (86f) that day. It makes your lungs sting, makes you feel like you’re running through water.

In the England camp, we had done everything to prepare. Ice vests before training, hydration breaks, modified warm-ups – things that just weren’t part of football life a few years ago. At our base in Zurich we even had cryotherapy and Slush Puppies to cool our core temperatures. During training, there were ice-cold towels, extra rest moments and constant reminders to hydrate. You could feel how carefully the staff planned every detail. But when the whistle blew, no protocol could change the fact that the climate itself has changed.

• Ernst Tanner was subject of Guardian investigation

• Complaint alleged racist, sexist, and homophobic comments

• Tanner denies allegations, which initial MLS investigation did not corroborate

• Read our full investigation | Summary of our findings

Major League Soccer announced on Wednesday that it is re-opening its investigation into Philadelphia Union sporting director Ernst Tanner. The Union said in a statement to the Guardian that they have placed Tanner on administrative leave. The move comes a day after the Guardian published an investigation into Tanner’s conduct.

Tanner had previously been under investigation by MLS after the league received a complaint from the MLS Players Association in late January. In it, the MLSPA outlined a wide range of alleged issues surrounding Tanner, which included the use of racist, sexist and homophobic language and instances of inappropriate physical contact with a staff member.

Made multiple misogynistic comments, including saying “women don’t belong in men’s soccer” about a female MLS referee and telling a gathering of academy players that they “should never worry about a referee, unless she’s a woman.”

Directed a homophobic slur at an MLS referee in 2023

Spoke about Black players “like they were subhuman” and suggested that Black referees “lack intelligence and capability.”

Touched a co-worker inappropriately “numerous times,” an allegation for which he was reported to the Union’s HR department.

Hired an underqualified coach who was allegedly abusive toward players on the Philadelphia Union II, the club’s reserve team that is used as a proving ground for young players from its thriving academy.

• Draw with Curaçao ends automatic qualification hope

• He says team need ‘new energy and different perspective’

Steve McClaren has resigned as Jamaica’s head coach after a goalless draw with Curaçao ended the team’s hopes of automatic World Cup qualification and left them in March’s intercontinental playoffs.

Jamaica needed a win but hit the woodwork three times in the second half as Curaçao became the smallest country by population to win a berth at the World Cup finals. McClaren’s side finished second in Group B of Concacaf qualifying despite being the favourites.

• Tiny Caribbean nation hold on for crucial point in Kingston

• Haiti also book improbable place at next year’s tournament

The tiny Caribbean nation of Curaçao became the smallest country ever to qualify for the World Cup, as Haiti booked a place for the first time in 52 years and Panama their second appearance in three tournaments.

In a nerve-shredding finale to the Concacaf qualifying campaign, Curaçao – with a population of just 156,000 – squeeze into next year’s finals in the United States, Canada and Mexico with a 0-0 draw against Jamaica in Kingston. The outcome prompted Steve McClaren to resign as Jamaica’s coach even though the team could reach the World Cup via the intercontinental playoffs.

• KC Current forward scored 15 goals in 23 games

• Washington’s McKeown wins defender of the year

Kansas City Current forward Temwa Chawinga won the National Women’s Soccer League’s Most Valuable Player Award for the second straight year Wednesday after leading the league’s top team in goals this season.

Chawinga is the first player to win MVP in consecutive seasons. Although she was sidelined after adductor injury to her right leg in October, Chawinga also won the NWSL’s Golden Boot with 15 goals and three assists over 23 matches.

Steve Clarke’s history-making team have a ferocious work ethic that should typify what Scotland stands for

It was not a time for calm reflection. Kenny McLean had just lobbed Kasper Schmeichel from the halfway line. Limbs. Unbridled, unfiltered joy.

On one outrageous Hampden Park night McLean, Kieran Tierney and Scott McTominay relegated Archie Gemmill’s stupendous solo effort against the Netherlands in 1978 to merely the fourth best Scotland goal of all time. Zinedine Zidane’s volley for Real Madrid in Hampden’s Champions League final of 2002? A mere tap‑in by comparison.

Troy Parrott’s last-gasp goal and DR Congo’s triumph proved once again why the best soccer is almost never about the soccer

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Last Thursday, Irish football was in a bleak place. They had two games remaining in World Cup qualifying and apparently no hope of making it to North America next summer. Another campaign had collapsed in predictable ways: they couldn’t score, they made bafflingly simple errors, too few of their players play for elite sides and those that do seemed unable to reproduce club form for their country.

Their one possible star, Evan Ferguson, had not been energised by a move to Roma – quite the reverse – and although there was vague talk of a new contract for their manager, the amiable Icelandic dentist Heimir Hallgrímsson, everybody thought he would be off after the game in Hungary and was vaguely dreading another Football Association of Ireland recruitment saga, which would inevitably take months, throw up a series of implausible names and result in the job being given to Hallgrímsson’s assistant, John O’Shea.

World Cup could still be in reach for the last genius of Brazilian football who has faded to a shadow of his former self

What’s your favourite Neymar advert? This is a tough question to answer. The body of work is huge and varied. The foot deodorant ad perhaps, which depicts Neymar’s feet literally on fire, ablaze with some kind of divine eau de toenail.

Or the new one for a brand of açaí berry death-gloop sorbet product, which shows Neymar holding up twin cones, like phials of luminous unicorn-sperm, and looking as though he’s just been hit over the head with a rock and it’s the greatest thing that’s ever happened to him.

On the bench in Madrid and out of the England squad, the full-back has no one to fight his corner – so will have to do it himself

“He chose to start from zero. To keep showing up, day by day. It was about respect, courage and a genuine desire to belong. What I saw was a person growing beyond himself. In football, words can build trust, connection, identity. That is what true professionalism really looks like.” Well, at least someone is pleased with Trent Alexander-Arnold’s progress at Real Madrid. Unfortunately, it happens to be Sara Duque, his language teacher.

When Alexander-Arnold filmed a video in hesitant but really very good Spanish for Duque’s Instagram page, it’s fair to say it wasn’t received entirely in the spirit of pride and achievement it was intended. Very quickly, internet auditors started to do the maths. Alexander-Arnold claimed to have been learning Spanish for five months, which meant he must have started in May, when – gasp – he was still under contract at Liverpool. Rat, scum, traitor, etc. Perhaps, judging by how well he spoke at his unveiling in June, he had been under Duque’s tutelage even earlier. All of which brought to mind the old Frank Skinner joke (although others have claimed it) about John Lennon airport. A fitting tribute, seeing as it was the first place he went after making a bit of cash.

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The former Liverpool and Osasuna player on his coaching journey, redemption in Spain and working with Sven-Göran Eriksson

“I went to a very good school, believe it or not. A grammar school. We had Spanish lessons, but I didn’t take Spanish. I thought: ‘What’s a hairy-arsed kid from the Liverpool ghetto going to need that for?’ And lo and behold …”

It’s late in Bilbao, back in the country that changed him, and a glass of wine rests on the table in front of Sammy Lee, who is grinning again. It’s been an emotional evening and a long night: a lot of laughs, some tears too, talking life at Liverpool and the life that came next. “For me, it’s about coaching even more than playing,” the European champion and former England assistant says. “And that started here.”

Caribbean island nation is the smallest to reach the finals tournament after appointing the wily coach and drawing on diaspora

The delay in Dick Advocaat becoming Curaçao’s head coach might have been ominous but instead it was the foundation for glory. Frustrated by the national federation’s financial problems, he deferred starting until January 2024, when the problems were resolved and players paid, paving the way for a historic World Cup qualifying campaign.

Curaçao will be the smallest nation – by land area and population – to play at the World Cup after their 0-0 draw in Jamaica on Wednesday. The Caribbean island has a population of 156,000, sinking the previous record holders, Iceland, which has about 400,000 inhabitants. Last month Cape Verde were confirmed as surprise tournament debutants but the African nation is almost 10 times bigger by area than the former Dutch colony, indicating the level of achievement by Advocaat and his squad.

FA crackdown has led to the suspension of 149 match officials and more than 1,000 players in push to restore public faith in the game

Everything in Turkish football, it seemed, was going too well. Galatasaray have been flying in the Champions League, powered by Victor Osimhen. Arda Güler is soaring at Real Madrid with goals and assists. Even the men’s national team, under Vincenzo Montella, have looked their most promising in years.

But it would not be Turkish football without drama and drama is what the hardline president of the Turkish Football Federation (TFF), İbrahim Hacıosmanoğlu, has delivered.

In an exclusive extract from her autobiography, goalkeeper reveals the painful road to her shock England exit

England felt like such a safe space for me. It was usual to have a team review after a big tournament and after the Euros in 2022 we came together in the Club England meeting room at St George’s Park, the team’s headquarters.

The emotional security that I felt within England was bolstered by the culture and values that had underpinned and contributed to our success. Non-collegiate behaviour was not tolerated. We came back together to the news that Hannah Hampton had been dropped from the squad: her behaviour behind the scenes at the Euros had frequently risked derailing training sessions and team resources.

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Cole Palmer, who is set for another cold spell on the sidelines after stubbing and breaking a toe at home, is not the first footballer to bizarrely knack themselves in a domestic incident. Michael Stensgaard arrived at Liverpool as suitable understudy to David James in 1994 but the goalkeeper never made an appearance after dislocating a shoulder when setting up an ironing board. In a plot twist that Armando Iannuci and Steve Coogan seem to have overlooked while writing I’m Alan Partridge in the 1990s, Dave Beasant severed the tendon in a big toe in 1993 after dropping a bottle of salad cream. And the advent of electric toothbrushes didn’t come quick enough for Fulham legend Alan Mullery, who once put his back out overzealously tending to his gnashers and consequently missed England’s tour of the Americas in 1964. After falling out of Alf Ramsey’s favour, Mullery didn’t play again for his country until … 1967, missing a certain tournament.

It’s always amusing to read the England banners when an Ashes Test is on here in Australia, especially as they often proclaim allegiance to an English (or Welsh) football club while attending a totally different sporting event. On the other hand, I can understand the Dronfield Owls and the prominent Sheffield United contingent preferring to be in Perth rather than at their bottom-of-the-table derby on Sunday. I wonder if they’ll get together to watch it after the third day’s play? Could make England’s batting look acceptable” – Trevor Townson.

D!ck Advocaat managing Curaçao to GWC qualification! Is there any other football success that matches this drink-related combination?” – Richard Barker [draw Scotland and you could have a Bru-Curaçao cocktail? – Football Daily Ed].

Was the AK-47 part of the photoshoot or had Andy Cole just equipped himself with a suitable level of protection to head to the insalubrious environs of the Tuxedo Princess afterwards (yesterday’s Memory Lane, full email edition)? When its sister ship, the Tuxedo Royale, first docked in Boro circa 2000, many patrons (including me) flocked onboard to enjoy the combined treats of 25p shots and a rotating dance floor” – Martin Clifford.

On the subject of being comprehensively outplayed by professionals (Football Daily letters passim), in our final season my decidedly amateur five-a-side team had a tough pair of back-to-back matches, including a grudge match against our local rivals. A mate called in a ringer, describing him as ‘someone from work’ and tapping his nose in the way of a panto villain suggesting skulduggery. Said ringer utterly bossed both games – marshalling the defence, laying on three assists and two goals across the fixtures, running at a full sprint the entire time and causing both opposing teams to complain to the competition organisers that we’d hired a professional. The ringer objected both times, swearing he’d never been a professional footballer with such vehemence that even our closest rivals believed him. In the pub afterwards, the truth came out: he’d had a few seasons as a referee in the A-League Men, the peak of flamin’ Australian football. First time I’ve ever seen a ref be named man of the match, but nobody could say he didn’t deserve it” – Adam Osborne.

Gotham are underdogs against a potent Spirit side but they have the talent and resilience to cause another upset

At the close of quintessential NWSL playoffs rife with last-minute goals and upsets, the eighth-placed underdogs Gotham FC will face second-placed Washington Spirit for the trophy. Both teams have won the NWSL Championship once before: the Spirit in 2021 and Gotham two years later. Washington are the likely favourites, but Gotham’s talent cannot be discounted.

As we look forward to Saturday night in San Jose, here are a few key battles that could decide the game.

Vancouver Rise were crowned Canada’s first champions of the new professional league which has exceeded expectations in terms of tickets sold and viewing figures

In the words of Christine Sinclair, the all-time international top scorer for men or women: “What a difference a year makes.” On Saturday at BMO Field in Toronto, Vancouver Rise became the first champions of the inaugural Northern Super League season. It was a triumphant conclusion to a history-making campaign that has set the ball rolling for professional women’s football in Canada.

In front of 12,429 spectators, Anja Heiner-Møller’s side put on a display of perseverance to claw their way back to win 2-1 against AFC Toronto, the winners of the regular season’s Supporters’ Shield. A half-hour lightning break and deluge of rain did little to stunt the quality on show on the pitch and the enthusiasm off it.

Bellingham’s dramatic 95th-minute bicycle kick prompted an unfettered outpouring of emotion for England fans

How vociferously are you allowed to celebrate a goal as a 30-year-old? This was the only thing that tempered my jubilation on 30 June 2024, a moral quandary amid the elation, the beer sweat, the tears.

As I dragged my heavy legs away from the Greenwich beer garden which that day became a golden English garden, having inadvertently collided with my friend’s chin while celebrating Jude Bellingham’s brilliant bicycle kick, I was hit with a pang of shame.

Has this been the best international break in living memory? For Ireland and Scotland fans, it will take some beating. Max Rushden is joined by Barry Glendenning, Paul Watson and Seb Hutchinson to look back on it all, and ahead to the return of the Premier League

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On today’s pod, the panelists extol what must be one of the most drama-packed international breaks in years. Max Rushden, Barry Glendenning, Paul Watson and Seb Hutchinson enjoyed every minute of it from last-minute winners and multi-goal pile-ups to minnows on the verge of qualification.

Plus: chants celebrating old memories, Trevor Wood from Jersey and ‘a Genghis Khan-like thick moustache’

• Mail us with your questions and answers

“England qualified for the World Cup in perfect style, winning all eight games without conceding a goal,” writes Charlie Wilson. “How many teams have done this?”

This isn’t the first time England have qualified for a World Cup without conceding a goal. They did the same ahead of Italia 90 – but three of their six group games were 0-0 draws and they might not have qualified had Poland’s Rysard Tarasiewicz scored in the last minute of their final game in Chorzow. Instead his heatseeker hit the crossbar and England were through.

Switzerland (A) 5-0

Wales (H) 12-0

Wales (A) 12-0

Croatia (A) 7-0

Croatia (H) 8-0

Switzerland (H) 11-0

Chelsea lose ground in title race at Liverpool while Arsenal struggle to find their shooting boots

When Alyssa Thompson fired in a superb ninth-minute opener, Chelsea looked on course for another routine win. However, Liverpool’s defence held firm and the Reds levelled in the 33rd minute and held out until half-time. The Chelsea manager, Sonia Bompastor, introduced further attacking options in the second half, including Lauren James and Aggie Beever-Jones, but a solid defensive display from Liverpool ensured Chelsea were unable to find a winner as the hosts earned their second point of the season. Although the result did mean Chelsea set a record of 34 successive unbeaten WSL games, clearly all is not well with the defending champions. Last season they had 27 points after nine games and led the way, this campaign they have eight fewer and are three points behind Manchester City. Réshma Rao

Match report: Tottenham 0-0 Arsenal

From PSG’s Ibrahim Mbaye to Brazil’s next hope, we select some of the most talented players born in 2008. Check the progress of our classes of 2024 | 2023 | 2022 | 2021 | 2020 | 2019 … and go even further back. Here’s our Premier League class of 2025

We pick the best youngsters at each club born between 1 September 2008 and 31 August 2009, an age band known as first-year scholars. Check the progress of our classes of 2024 | 2023 | 2022 | 2021 | 2020 … and go even further back. Here’s our 2025 world picks

Every deal in the NWSL, WSL, Liga F, Frauen-Bundesliga, Première Ligue and Serie A Femminile as well as a club-by-club guide

• Men’s transfers summer 2025: all the moves